Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Heroes and Villains

I had a major WTF moment when I was flipping through my beloved O magazine this morning and I happened upon this troubling photo of Johnny Depp and Patti Smith:

 The image is part of a larger campaign for Disneyland, which features celebrities dressed up like iconic Disney characters. It’s a great idea on paper but the casting director is totally batshit! They always create the most awkward celebrity pairings, like Gisele and Mikhail Baryshnikov as Wendy and Peter Pan and Penelope Cruz and Jeff Bridges as Beauty and the Beast. And who could forget the super-cringey Alice in Wonderland photo featuring Beyonce, Oliver Platt, and Lyle Lovett? The pairing of Johnny and Patti actually makes sense but it really annoys me that Patti was cast as the “second pirate in command.” Thats not even a real character! There are so many great villains that would be far more appropriate for Ms. Smith…. 

Like Scar from The Lion King
Ok so he’s a dude, probably gay, and a lion but he has that distinctive Patti Smith I’ve-seen-it-all-and-done-it-all-and-I-don’t-give-a-shit swagger.  And the hair is pretty comparable. 

Vanessa (aka Ursula) from The Little Mermaid
Wow, I bet Vanessa could do a killer version of "Piss Factory"! She really has that fire in her eyes. And the "scorned bride" look would really work for Patti. 

Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty
Patti would look so fierce in that cape! It looks like 1989 Mugler. And the raven sidekick is very fitting; its name is Diablo. I wouldn't be surprised if Patti had a raven sidekick named Diablo in real life.

Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmations
Someone should really design a collection based around the concept of “Patti Smith as Cruella de Vil.” And I hope it's Ann Demeulemeester.

Ps. Can someone please tell Annie Leibowitz to lay off the Photoshop? Her photos look like Avatar


Fashion Intel said...

bahahahahaha to Vanessa, that rules. These Disney things are always strange.

kat said...

medusa from the rescuers. i never comment, but i HAVE to comment for that.

Chelsea said...

Good call! I completely forgot about her, she used to scare the shit out of me!

kat said...

"what makes you think anyone would want a homely little girl like you?" too mean, disney, too mean. but she had an awesome outfit

Office Of Johnston said...

Agreed. I'd like to see a line up for the Aristocats.

Anonymous said...

Agreed on Leibowitz and photoshop: her work looks now like a bad hair day.
BUt Patti as bad guys? i see her as innocent, fairy like... is it me?

Chelsea said...

Kat-Disney is way cruel. Still getting over the tragedy of Dumbo.

OOJ- Patti smith as tinkerbell would totally rule. I cast her as a villain because I usually prefer the villains to the good characters. Clearly something is wrong with me!

HeyItsAlexP said...

This is an amazing post. I would love to see Ms. Smith as Cruella.

R A said...

She totally needs to lay off the Photoshop. Everything she has done lately looks as if it's for a hot rod car promotion. Eww.

Sophie said...

I'm always captivated by those ads yet am too mesmerized by the unreal photoshop action to realize that they are cast horribly. They should defs hire you in casting for these.