Sunday, January 23, 2011

Dear Katy Perry

I like to think that I'm too mature to write posts like this but Katy Perry brings out an ugly side of me. This is for the haters...

Dear Katy Perry, 
Just because you have #1 singles, your own personal fragrance with a campaign shot by Miles Aldridge, an album cover by Will Cotton, a close friendship with Rihanna, and a closet full of Miu Miu and Ashish, does not mean that you are cool. In fact, you are totally creepy and represent everything that I hate about contemporary music, if you can even call it music. It was weird when you said that Lady Gaga's video was blasphemous because you write songs for ten year old girls about "freaking in jeeps" and being so hot that you'll "melt" some dudes' "popsicle." I mean, really? Your husband is also creepy. And I resent the fact that you wrote a song called "California Gurls" which desecrates my home state and The Beach Boys. Hasn't Brian Wilson been through enough? I also haven't forgiven you for your barsexual anthem "I Kissed a Girl". You totally ruined cherry chapstick for me.....forever. And now, on top of everything, you are capitalizing on my favorite fashion micro-trend: cats. Bitch, please

UPDATE Is that a Jesus tattoo on her wrist? How unfortunate for Jesus. My thoughts are with him during this difficult time.

42 comments:

ktz said...

WORDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Cher Ami said...

oh snap

Anonymous said...

I am.
Officially.
In love with you.

Angsthase said...

The song Teenage Dream makes me vomit. How ridiculous is it that she tries to make teenagers feel like they are great as they are in the song Firework, when she is the exact person making them feel like they have to change with her re-imagining of teenagehood?
And aaaaaarrrrgh her tattoos are horrible - http://stealherstyle.net/tattoos/katy-perry-tattoos/

jovana said...

word.

songshu said...

"you are capitalizing on my favorite fashion micro-trend: cats. Bitch, please."
thumbs up for you!

Anonymous said...

"and represent everything that I hate about contemporary music, if you can even call it music."

Brilliant! I could not agree more. I call it "headache music".

Love the blog,

kisses from Scotland xxx

Elina said...

♥ ♥ ♥

R A said...

Agreed. She looks extra plastic in the picture you posted too which makes her even more scary.

kate said...

So funny, I completely agree!

anabela / fieldguided said...

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. What's this about cats?! I am INCENSED!

Lily said...

Teenage Dream was kind of undeniable for me, but all her other songs are SO AWFUL that they really negate any of the merit, and agreed on her tiresome manufactured persona and her gross, gross boyfriend. The new one in prticular, about being like a triumphant firework, is an incredible ear-bleeder.

Chelsea said...

I cannot tell you guys how happy these comments make me! I've been internalizing my Katy Perry hate for way too long, I'm glad to have found likeminded people!

Anon-Flattered!

Angsthase-I can't believe that she has a tattoo of "go with the flow" in SANSKRIT. And her husband has one too? What freaks! The strawberry one is also ugly obvs.

Anabela- She has a fragrance called Purr by Katy Perry, the ads look like this:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_GIchwvJ-aNk/TQPH9F_-WbI/AAAAAAAAXng/ACnLmLn9HIk/s1600/Katy%2BPerry%2BPurrs%2Bfragrance%2Bbillboard.jpg

And I see them EVERYWHERE!

Lily- Firework SO bad. An ear bleeder, indeed!

Anonymous said...

HALLELUJAH. At least when I was growing up I had Britney in her glory "hit me baby one more time" days. I have such pity for girls growing up having to listen to this shit on the radio.

m.bardeaux said...

you know i got your back on this! evil evil evil.

marina said...

Hells Yeah! Thank you for calling this to attention.

Anonymous said...

I loves you girl!

Christina said...

I too, was raised in a Christian home and had to learn to own my sexuality. I did not achieve this, however, by making myself a parody of it. You'll figger it out, Katy. No bigs. In the meantime, stop perpetrating the worst stereotypes about California and Los Angeles in particular and stop asking Snoop for favors.

Alyson Clair said...

Thank you Chelsea! She's horrid. Here's a little gem for you:
http://www.dlisted.com/node/40221

Susie said...

AGREED. I love you, in a love-your-blog sort of way.

anabela / fieldguided said...

Figures she'd take the "sexy" cat route. GROSS.

Anonymous said...

Get it grrrrl

Chelsea said...

Thanks guys! I'm really glad that you appreciate this post. I thought I might come off as a crazy bitch but I'm happy that you all feel my Katy Perry pain. She sucks.

I totally forgot to mention that she made me like Snoop Dogg less----and I LOVE snoop. I really resent her for that.

Alyson-thanks for that! It's actually is sort of comforting to know that she doesn't go to sleep with fake eyelashes on.

m.bardeaux said...

i'm really enjoying the fact that this is quickly becoming the most commented CP post EVER! the hate runs deep...

Anonymous said...

Fuckin' amen.

micki from sweden said...

That wass the funniest thing I´ve ever read. Also oh so true!

Anonymous said...

I totally agree no music no cool no nothing just someone who wants somemoney and dosent care about the consequences on other teenage girls.
sad miss katy.

Anonymous said...

yeeeeah but russell brand is a legend, youve gotta admit (i miss his bbc 2 radio show)

Ella said...

thank you for posting this. katy perry embodies everything i hate!

melanie said...

russel brand might be a "legend" but he's a wierd creeper at that!

oh and AMENN!
her music sucks,she's a fakee,
and cat perfume? you cant be serious. wowuuu
that Jesus tatoo is pathetic.

Chloe said...

Bitch got burned, holla!

Alex said...

YOU TELL HER!

MatryoshkaDoll said...

Couldn't agree with you more! I wanted to sock her in the face when I found out her perfume was called Prrr. I can't stand her, her music, her husband and she had to go and claim my favorite animal for her lousy perfume line.

Niki "Champagne" Sterner said...

This is so awesome.

Anonymous said...

Wooowww! You said that girl! Thanks for voicing my inner thoughts on that girl.

neverleavehere said...

Amen to this! I've detested this girl from the beginning. Her popularity baffles me more than probably any other singer out there today (ugh, i hate to even call her a singer)

Alyson Clair said...

oooh D-listed.com I love you. I had to post this on here:
http://www.dlisted.com/node/40712

Chelsea said...

Alyson---
Ewwwwwww! She is so gross....and that is hilarious!
Thanks for posting!

Anonymous said...

the ho ain't got nuthin on zooey deschanel

Kaye said...

holy shit yes. luv u.

St said...

Just in case you thought you had enough vindication, let me add that you are right, so right, it couldn't be said better. She is awful. Goddamn awful and an affront to any sensible person's senses and sensibilities.

p.s. you blog is wonderful

Gladys Badhands said...

Belatedly, FUCK YES.

I wish she had called her stinkin' fragrance 'Pussy'...

And, thank you for drawing attention to her blatant hypocrisy!