I like to think that I'm too mature to write posts like this but Katy Perry brings out an ugly side of me. This is for the haters...
Dear Katy Perry,
Just because you have #1 singles, your own personal fragrance with a campaign shot by Miles Aldridge, an album cover by Will Cotton, a close friendship with Rihanna, and a closet full of Miu Miu and Ashish, does not mean that you are cool. In fact, you are totally creepy and represent everything that I hate about contemporary music, if you can even call it music. It was weird when you said that Lady Gaga's video was blasphemous because you write songs for ten year old girls about "freaking in jeeps" and being so hot that you'll "melt" some dudes' "popsicle." I mean, really? Your husband is also creepy. And I resent the fact that you wrote a song called "California Gurls" which desecrates my home state and The Beach Boys. Hasn't Brian Wilson been through enough? I also haven't forgiven you for your barsexual anthem "I Kissed a Girl". You totally ruined cherry chapstick for me.....forever. And now, on top of everything, you are capitalizing on my favorite fashion micro-trend: cats. Bitch, please.
UPDATE Is that a Jesus tattoo on her wrist? How unfortunate for Jesus. My thoughts are with him during this difficult time.